Another lovely evening to myself and yep, another sober one. K is down in Southampton until at least the weekend, as his dad is still too unwell for decisions to be made. On the one hand I miss him massively, but on the other, the break is probably doing us both good.
Work is tedious, dull and slow beyond belief. I have been told to anticipate another 2 months of this as the summer is always slow. However, they have broached the subject of bringing things to an end sooner rather than later so if their nerve gives up, I may be job hunting again. Hey ho! C’est la vie and all that. I’ve done it before and I am sure that I will do it again! I’d rather not, as the CV could do with a break and I was hoping for a nice easy office job for a year so that I could contemplate retraining after hours as a masseur, but as they say: the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley (or things can still screw up even when you have planned ahead, in other words!)
Anyway, until decisions are made, I continue to exist in limbo and have all the time in the world to concentrate on my favourite subject: namely ME! Ha ha. As such, I’ve been thinking about one of the other symptoms of stress addiction which is:
You are a perfectionist and have a negative coach residing in your head
Oh how very, very true! Take the last few evenings for example. Rather than just tackling the odd job and doing a bit of housework, I have to start pulling the place apart and doing a deep, spring-like clean!!! Instead of being able to say that at the very least, I’ve done some housework, sorted out some stuff and not wasted my time, I want K to return to a perfect home in the style of the ultimate domestic goddess and will stop at nothing to achieve it!!! It’s very, very tiring being me, you see!
I’ve already dealt with my negative coach, who never stops reminding me that I could be slimmer, friendlier, earn more money etc, so that much didn’t surprise me and as for perfectionism – anal and OCD are my middle names, for God’s sake. This is basically where my dilemma resides and is probably the crux of all my issues. Perfectionism is stressful, demanding and rarely obtainable. Not caring enough, however, is just unthinkable. What exactly is the middle ground? Where do you draw the line, so to speak between careless and bothered? When my acupuncturist mentions the 80/20 rule, how can you be sure you’re following it? When does it become 70/30 such that you need to redress the balance? What is the ultimate attitude to foster and who sets the boundaries? That’s enough to keep me awake tonight anyway!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment