Soooooo. Weekend away. For my birthday. Did I manage to get away with not drinking? The answer is of course…well, actually here I have to fess up. I had to have a long, hard thunk about the challenge and consider a new start date. Yep, I fell off the wagon. Couldn’t be helped and am not planning on lamenting it with reams of tortured prose. Facts are:
a) I had an evening all to my self on the Friday which was bliss. K arrived on Saturday and we had a night in a deux with fish and chips. However, not drinking with dinner would have sounded major, major alarm bells for him as it would have been my birthday dinner and at least 10 days since I’d drunk, therefore so not like me. I gave in to some white wine (OK, not some, the bloody bottle...)
b) Sunday, the eve of my birthday, was slightly fraught and emotional as I didn’t get a card from my parents. Yes, alcohol is not a crutch for every emotional crisis but I like to think that something so major and so soon into the challenge could be forgiven.
I’ve been torturing myself ever since about what to write. Should I lie? Nope, never. Am just not capable as it goes against my ethics. Do I fess up and call it a blip? Nope as I see that as weak-willed and a failure. So I am telling the truth and proffering another suggestion.
Rather than count from 16 April (K’s anniversary) I shall now start the dry count from 26 April (my birthday). That way K’s anniversary remains his and his alone and my birthday becomes a landmark date. Not what I had in mind at the outset but the best outcome in my eyes for a failed attempt.
Don’t get me wrong, I am gutted at the false start but, on the other hand, can not beat myself up over it forever. I would rather draw a line and move on, spurred on by the failure of my parents to acknowledge the day that their daughter was born. If I can achieve this it will be proof that I am not the weak-willed waste of space that they have written me off as.
As for the weekend itself, twas lovely. Spent a lot of it in bed as we know Rye very well and it’s more of a rest and relaxation than a massive tourist trip, but we both came away feeling a darn sight better than when we arrived. The weather was fabulous – truly lovely sunshine and not too hot. The people who have the B&B where we stay are just fab and we have our own front door to the room. It’s like our own, personal retreat and we’ve booked to go again in early June, which can’t come soon enough.
Tis rainy, grey and miserable today, so not in mood to write any more. Day one. Again.
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