D.I.V.O.R.C.E as Dolly would say!

Am in somewhat better humour today! Well, considering it couldn’t have really got much worse yesterday, I am surprisingly resilient if I am alive and well at all today!!!

K and I went for a walk down by the river when I got home as it was a beautiful and very warm evening. We had a drink at a pub that we sometimes frequent, looking over the Thames and watched a cruise ship come down the river and embark on its round Britain trip. Felt a lot better after some fresh air and we picked up an Indian takeaway on the way home for an even more relaxing evening.

Obviously, my family’s behaviour yesterday was a nightmare we could have both done without. It has simply reached its nadir and this time, it has to stop. I am gutted that my father would stoop so low as to trick me into corresponding with him by being friendly in his first mail, then unleashing the beast that is my mother once he had his ammunition. I feel hurt and betrayed, added to which he claimed in his message that he was poverty stricken as a result of my not selling the flat and could not go part-time as a result. I did defend myself against this attack suggesting that holidays in Canada and France and a mortgage taken out for my brother by them a few years ago does not a poor person make!!

They are so hell bent on being right about K (yet all their attacks on him are actually groundless) that they don’t want to hear or see the reality as they would lose credibility amongst their ‘friends’ if he turned out to be normal (relatively so). This is the part that hurts me the most. They are quite simply cutting off their nose to spite their face. They would prefer no relationship with me to one which conceded that K is my choice and that this should be respected if not liked. It basically tells me exactly where I stand in their eyes; sorry, love, you are a disappointment as you failed to be stick thin, mega clever and marry a man who could support you so fuck right off. Yip, you did read the support bit right. In 2009 my father suggested yesterday that K ought to be supporting me! Jesus wept, which century are we in, exactly? As I pointed out ‘I was brought up by a mother who told me to never rely on any man as they can’t be trusted, so make sure you have a career’. Their hypocrisy just astounds me. My father suggested that he never had help in life from my mother’s father, so why should K? Well, this isn’t actually true as his business failed in the late ‘80s and my mother ‘bailed him out’. The only money she had was inherited so for the rest of my life (when drunkenly arguing) she has regularly reminded him that she rescued them from the brink with her cash injection. The fact that this money originates with my Grandad Andrew (my mother takes after her mother in choosing never to work) is, in their eyes, irrelevant. Incredible.

So it’s over. I have officially divorced my parents. My brother has effectively chosen their side and I can’t say that his absence in my life is a huge loss. He did only bother with me when he felt like it (in between girlfriends in other words) and after his disgraceful behaviour last May when he was not just rude to me but insulting in front of his friends, I haven’t exactly lost any sleep over his decision to back my mum and dad. I have a partner and his sister and other family members have been more than welcoming. I have a lot of friends, all of whom I want to spend time with (unlike my parents who spend equal amounts of time slagging off their so called friends as enjoying their company!!) and the people I work with are also, underneath their professional veneer, a decent bunch. If I can’t have a family that wants to wish me well and not undermine, bully and demean me, then I am better off without one.

Moving on…tomorrow really is a new chapter in my life. Hey, I am over 2 months into my sobriety and that makes me far, far happier than anything I’ve done in life so far.