Bring it on!

The times they are a changing. Good old Bob Dylan, eh! Some weeks, when I get out of bed on a Monday, I have no possible idea how much shit is going to hit the fan as the days go by. Seriously, this week has been a corker. Every time I have told someone that my life’s pretty tough right now, they’ve decided to trump it and throw something else in to the mix! On Sunday I called my aunt and mentioned I’d had a pretty tough week. She said, well can I break some more bad news? Me and your uncle probably can’t come to your wedding. Great! Yip, the 2 people on my side that I am able to invite have an issue with their holiday date and will probably have to cry off.

On Monday I called my dad to tell him to call off the dogs (i.e. my mum) as K’s dad was unwell and we had enough on our plate. His response was to say, what, you think that’s bad, try this for size. We want our £20k back and we want it now…

My bosses meanwhile were aware that I had my fill of rubbish to deal with from my parents and that K needed all the support he could get. Their response? Suggest I find another job. Whoopee dee doopee dee do. Yip, 2 months of sitting doing nothing, imploring them to let me know what’s happening, and they choose to fess up that the company is likely to be wound up today of all days. Just after T, my main boss, got back from our little chat, K called to say he was dashing off to Southampton as his father had received his test results and he has untreatable lung cancer. The saying it never rains but it pours should be applied to me thrice over!!!

So that’s the bad stuff. The good stuff? I have drawn a line under my family once and for all which is good in the sense that I can sleep again. Bad in the sense that I hoped it would never reach this point but peace is better than false hope. If my aunt and uncle can’t make the wedding, it’s not the end of the world. They may feel compromised with my parents taking such a radical stance or they may genuinely have a problem. Either way, I’d rather know now than nearer the time. Work-wise I’ve got something concrete now to work with rather than sitting in limbo watching it all unravel in silence. I have asked to go down to a 4 day week and take a small pay cut whilst I job search. This was well received and as K and I are financially comfortable right now, it’s doable. I’ve already spoken to 2 key recruitment folk (one a good friend of my bosses) and thoroughly expect to find something else before long. It’s tough out there, but good assistants are always thin on the ground so if there is a job for me, I’ll nail it. They haven’t given me a deadline here and I have the summer months to search so I think I’ve found the silver linings – thin as they may be!!!!

Yesterday was a tough day whatever way you look at it, as it was the anniversary of K’s mum’s death 7 years ago. Never a good day for K and he also finds it tough as her death was in his pre-sobriety days. It made it all the more apparent to me how much being sober has helped me deal with whatever has been slung at me of late, without crumbling under the pressure. It’s been a rocky few months and I have already done my mental sums in terms of how many bottles would have been sunk over this period and how many hangovers I would have had if I’d still been on the booze! Both financially and physically, I am relieved that I am no longer imbibing and have not had the horror of the morning after for as long as I can now remember. The only time I was tempted to drink was after rowing with my dad yet again about their harassment, but even then the moment was short-lived. Drink no longer features the way it used to in my life – for either the ups or the downs. Instead of that I am actually more in need of a friendly ear or a long mind-clearing walk when the going gets tough. These I suppose are the things that everyone without a drink problem is aware of automatically. Hey, it’s taken me 35 years to get to this point, but better late than never, eh?

Am off tomorrow as I start my 4-day week and it is a real luxury. K will be away (happy coincidence) and I can clean and relax to my heart’s content!