Yawn!

You know the silly summer season is upon us when it becomes a struggle to find things to do to fill up the days. As much as I like the fact that my job is without stress and the hours are very much reduced on what I am used to, it can be very tiresome when there’s not a lot going on. Admittedly, I have more time to blog but a part of me is still reticent about the whole process and wondering whether or not this is the best outlet for my thoughts after all. It’s the same old question about being self obsessed that keeps raising its ugly head, as I can’t see why my points of view would be of interest to others. Like everything in life, if I can think of someone doing it better than me, I leave it to the experts rather than make a ham-fisted go of it.

I fear that all this talk about me is just self-indulgent and would rather produce something interesting, funny and useful. Something that would have meaning for readers (and hey, I might even tag key words if it did and make it visible!) and that would give me a purpose. I thought about posting pics of the cakes I decorated but the first thing I thought was ‘who cares; they aren’t even that good’. Maybe a photo from the 10k I did would be good, except when the charity does upload the ones of me crossing the line I imagine I will be all red in the face and puffy; so not a good look! I know all this negative thinking is daft and that there are other, far more amateur blogs out there than mine, but it’s what puts me off doing so many things and I have to break the pattern. Where to start?

I had an idea, a bit like a kind of news column which would be helpful, funny and interesting at the same time. You know, thought for the day, recommendations, top tips, that sort of thing. Of course, something like that needs a purpose and an audience and again, I need to appeal to a group of people who share my eclectic taste and random ideas. In some ways, I think I am tired of life and the stuff that people do for pleasure. I have this feeling that I need to re-ignite mine and find those elusive things that make me happy that, truth be told, I never have. I did really enjoy the cake decorating, especially as I had to truly concentrate for such a long period of time. I’ve also rediscovered my running mojo so that’s a start and I am keen to go on another cooking course soon. Maybe what I need is a project, a sort of ‘fix my head ‘n body’ type of thing. Trying out ways to live a happy and fulfilling life, because giving up the booze often results in this lethargy and an inability to stand/cope with mindfulness. Also, there are so many things in life to do that don’t involve drinking but aren’t the clichéd things like theatre, film etc that I am sure this would prove more fruitful and productive than rambling on about ‘stuff’. Another thing I’d like to post about is where to go to meet friends of an evening in London in non-alcohol centric places. That, some recipes, some running tips, I dunno, a mish mash really of ways to keep busy when you no longer get trashed! Let’s call it a work in progress, eh?