A bientot

I’ve been trying, and failing, to find time to update my blog of late. Since starting it in April, things have changed so dramatically for me and I no longer have the spare time that I had back then.

I can’t possibly underestimate now just how many hours of ‘work’ were at my disposal. The business had been slowing down from October 2008 and the partners had done nothing to resurrect it. The blog was clearly a way to fill my time and, in turn, exercise some demons. What it now tells me, though, is that my life was far from fulfilled if I really did have hours every day to witter on extensively about me, me, me. A cartoon in Private Eye brought this sharply into focus the other week, when it showed an insect with a 24 hour lifespan blogging whilst its mate implored it to spend some of it living not just writing!!!

Even when I wasn’t working in August and September, I was too busy making the most of my time off baking, reading, catching up with friends and other such pleasures to spend it on the blog.

Basically, the blog served a purpose and got me through those first tricky 6 months of sobriety. I am not about to see that go the same way as the blog, but I am mindful that a rarely updated one is frustrating for the reader and clearly of little consequence to me if I can leave it so long. I’ve also stopped my acupuncture as I would rather put the things Jessica has taught me into practice than spend £45 a session contemplating my navel. I know it’s trite, but actions speak louder than words so maybe I just want to get on with living and spend less time agonising and philosophising.

My new job is 9 to 5.30 (for the first time in my life ever) and I know I could fit in blogging if I wanted to, but I don’t. I went for a run last night and remembered how effectively that cleared my head and would rather take time out of my busy schedule to do that than sit in front of a PC of an evening.

The next few months are going be demanding. K’s dad died last week and we will have his funeral on Thursday, then our postponed wedding date and my second Xmas without my family to get through. By end January decisions will be made about whether I stay in this role or not (I have a 3 month fixed term contract so that both parties can make their mind up), K will be started a new job and I will have to think about selling my flat. It’s all go, really, so I shall retire from this for now. Who knows, maybe I will come back to it one day but for now self-publication isn’t high on my list of priorities. Each time I look at Facebook, read about folk on Twitter or check the news, I get more and more incensed by everyone’s desire to flaunt themselves. So little is private these days so I am keen to join the other folk who don’t think laying their life out on a plate for all to see is necessarily food for the soul.

I shall spend the next 6 months not drinking without having to shout it from the rooftops and will communicate with my nearest and dearest on a one-to-one basis and hopefully more often!!!
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